“Teach boys to respect girls” isn’t just about politeness; it’s about helping them understand the unique challenges that girls face. In Part 1, we covered foundational lessons, and now in Part 2, we’re diving deeper, exploring empathy, boundaries, and the importance of listening. Teaching boys to respect girls by acknowledging these often-overlooked dynamics helps them become true allies and supporters in ways that really matter.

Part 2 goes beyond the obvious and dives into the often-overlooked truths that impact girls in ways boys may never experience. Did you know girls are frequently interrupted more than boys or that they’re less represented as heroes and leaders? Or that boys are sometimes taught, directly or indirectly, to feel entitled to girls’ time and attention? These are realities that, if left unaddressed, can have lasting consequences.

Raising boys to truly respect and support girls means teaching them to recognize these dynamics and to push back against them. In this second part, we cover five more essential lessons that help boys become the allies, friends, and partners girls need. Let’s finish what we started and continue to teach boys to respect girls

7. Teach Boys to Respect Girls by Valuing Representation

From the books they read to the movies they watch, boys grow up seeing versions of themselves as heroes, leaders, and decision-makers. Girls, on the other hand, have far fewer role models in positions of power, bravery, or leadership. This lack of representation can affect how girls view their potential, making them feel like their opportunities are limited simply because they don’t see themselves reflected in the world.

I remember a conversation with my daughter after we watched a superhero movie. While she enjoyed the action, she pointed out how the main female character was just the love interest—there to support the male hero. She asked, “Why don’t girls get to be the main hero?” That question opened my eyes even more to how much representation matters. If girls don’t see themselves as heroes, how can they believe they can be one?

By helping boys understand the importance of representation, we teach boys to respect girls in ways that go beyond the surface. When boys learn to appreciate diverse stories and female role models, they gain a greater respect for the strength and capability of girls and women.

What to teach your son:

Encourage your son to seek out and appreciate media with strong female characters. Discuss with him the importance of seeing women in leadership and heroic roles and how this shapes the way girls see themselves. Helping boys recognize this imbalance in representation will make them more mindful of the media they consume and more supportive of girls who are striving for leadership and success.

For more insights on helping boys understand and support the girls around them, Untangled by Lisa Damour, Ph.D. offers excellent perspectives on what girls experience as they grow.

8. Girls are more likely to be interrupted—and it starts early.

One way to teach boys to respect girls is by helping them recognize when girls’ voices are interrupted or dismissed. Studies show that girls and women are interrupted far more frequently than boys and men. Whether it’s in the classroom, the workplace, or even at home, girls’ voices are often silenced or talked over, leading them to feel like their opinions aren’t valued or important. Boys, however, often don’t notice this dynamic because it’s not something they regularly experience.

This became apparent to me during a family dinner when one of my daughters was talking about her day. She was mid-sentence when her brother chimed in with his thoughts, completely cutting her off. He didn’t mean to be rude, but he didn’t realize how frustrating it was for her to be interrupted. As parents, it’s our job to teach boys to be aware of these moments and to help them see the importance of listening.

To gain a deeper understanding of the social pressures that affect girls’ confidence and voice, Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman is a powerful resource. This book explores the unique social challenges that girls face and can help boys, parents, and educators support girls in finding and strengthening their voices.

What to teach your son:

Help your son become aware of how often girls and women are interrupted. Teach him to actively listen and make sure he gives girls the space to express themselves fully before jumping in. Boys should learn that respecting girls means valuing their voices and ensuring they’re heard, especially in group settings where girls might feel silenced.

9. Teach Boys to Respect Girls by Listening to Their Experiences of Pain

Girls and women often report that their physical or emotional pain isn’t taken as seriously as boys’ or men’s. Whether it’s being told that period pain is “just part of being a girl” or being accused of overreacting to emotional distress, girls are frequently dismissed when they express discomfort. This dismissal can lead to girls feeling like their pain doesn’t matter or that they need to “tough it out,” which can have long-lasting emotional and physical consequences.

I remember my daughter coming home from school in tears after being told by a teacher that she was “being dramatic” when she asked to go to the nurse for severe cramps. Her pain was real, but it was brushed aside simply because it was related to her period—something the teacher didn’t want to deal with. It was a painful reminder that girls’ discomfort is often ignored or minimized.

It’s vital to teach boys to respect girls by listening, supporting, and challenging unfair norms when they encounter them. When boys learn to take girls’ pain seriously, they’re helping to create a culture that values everyone’s experiences equally.

What to teach your son:

Teach your son to take girls’ pain seriously, whether it’s physical or emotional. Explain that just because he doesn’t experience something doesn’t mean it’s not real. Encourage him to offer support and empathy when girls express discomfort rather than dismissing their concerns. Teaching boys to respect girls means helping them understand that everyone’s pain should be acknowledged and treated with care.

10. Boys are taught to feel entitled to girls’ attention—and this needs to change.

From an early age, boys are often given the message that they’re entitled to girls’ attention, especially when it comes to dating or sexual interest. This sense of entitlement can lead to harmful behaviors like pressuring girls into uncomfortable situations or assuming that a girl’s “no” is just a way of playing hard to get. Teaching boys to respect girls means helping them understand that girls’ boundaries must always be respected. In a culture that normalizes these attitudes, it’s essential to teach boys that girls don’t owe them anything.

One summer, my daughter and her friends were at a party, and a boy insisted that she dance with him, even after saying no several times. When she finally asked him to leave her alone, he stormed off, calling her names and making her feel like she had done something wrong. Experiences like this are all too common, and they reinforce the need for boys to be taught that girls’ boundaries are not negotiable.

By teaching boys to respect girls in all areas of life, we help them understand that true respect means valuing a girl’s right to make her own choices and be heard.

To explore this topic further, The Boys’ Guide to Growing Up by Terri Couwenhoven offers practical insights on empathy, boundaries, and respect. While aimed at boys, this guide helps young men understand themselves and their relationships with female peers, offering foundational lessons in navigating these interactions respectfully.

What to teach your son:

Teach your son that he’s never entitled to a girl’s attention, time, or body. Make sure he understands the importance of consent and that “no” always means “no.” Help him see that true respect involves understanding and honoring a girl’s boundaries without complaint or pressure. Teaching boys to respect girls in this way will ensure they grow up with a healthy understanding of relationships.

11. Teach Boys to Respect Girls by Understanding the Weight of Responsibility

For girls and women, the consequences of sex are often more immediate and life-altering than they are for boys. While boys can sometimes walk away from an unintended pregnancy, girls are left to face the physical, emotional, and social consequences. Teaching boys to understand the gravity of this difference is crucial for fostering a sense of responsibility and empathy.

I’ve had conversations with my daughters about the pressure girls feel when it comes to making decisions about sex, especially knowing that they may have to deal with the consequences alone. It’s important that boys understand the weight of these decisions and the responsibility they carry, not just for themselves but for their partners as well.

What to teach your son:

Teach your son about the importance of safe, consensual sex and help him understand that the consequences of sex can be much more severe for girls. He needs to be educated about birth control, responsibility, and the long-term emotional impact that decisions around sex can have. Teaching boys to respect girls in this context means helping them understand that they must be equal partners in these decisions and respect the gravity of the situation.

Conclusion: Building a Culture of Respect and Empathy

As we wrap up this second part of the series, we’re digging into what respect really looks like when we take it a little deeper. These lessons are about more than just manners; they’re about helping boys see the unique challenges girls face, even if those challenges don’t always show up in the open.

We talked about how seeing strong female representation can shape what girls believe is possible for them, how often girls’ voices get drowned out or brushed aside, and how girls are taught to be strong even when they’re in pain. These are things boys may not see or think about often—but when they do, they’re better prepared to show up and support the girls in their lives.

We also touched on the need to rethink that feeling of entitlement some boys may have when it comes to girls’ attention, and why respecting boundaries is so key. And then there’s the weight girls carry alone when it comes to relationships and choices around sexual health—things that boys should understand, even if it’s uncomfortable to talk about.

This part of the series takes respect to a place that’s grounded in empathy, compassion, and awareness. When boys can see the world from someone else’s perspective, especially one they don’t experience themselves, they can stand with girls in a way that’s real and meaningful.

Together, both parts of this series offer essential ways to teach boys to respect girls, fostering empathy and equality that will shape their relationships and values.

Thank you for coming along with me on this journey. These conversations aren’t always easy, but they’re so important. Let’s keep building a world where respect, empathy, and equality are just part of who our kids are growing up to be. Let’s continue to teach boys to respect girls, creating a world where kindness and equality are the norms they live by.